God Loves Me

Especially when s#!& gets real

Photo by Quick PS on Unsplash

For anyone who is skeptical about the word God, and like me, used to be weary of the people at football games holding up signs that say John 3:16, please begin by reading these lyrics from the song Higher Power:

Religion isn’t part of God’s plan,

And, the truth is hidden in the scam

Not afraid of an old white man

in the clouds, I bow down listen to the land.

The words below were inspired by a question from Curving Towards the Center, a beautiful offering from my friend Crystal Meisaan Chan.

What is your relationship to obstacles?

[Verse 1]

When I encounter an obstacle, I say oh shit

My anger is explosive it makes it hard to focus

I feel like a victim, like life makes no sense

I blame myself then god until I notice

The ways that I am forced to grow when I’m craving more control

I abhor the cold but it makes me adore the golden

Rays of sun that come to warm my nose

Maybe this hurdle has been sent ‘cause I ignored my soul

I listen for signs I can get intertwined

With the source of wisdom that lives in the vines

and free myself from the silliest lies

That I tend to loop insidiously in my mind

I can never be loved I will never be enough

If I only work harder I will be on the cusp,

Of being worthy, instead I’m learning to trust

That I’m being tested because I am loved

[Chorus]

When I hit rock bottom everything is above

I try to pull myself up out of the muck

Then I realize God loves me because

God loves you, and God is love

[Verse 2]

I run into a roadblock, oh why me?

Not knowing this challenge is so timely

God laughs, like don’t mind me

While I conjure circumstances for your soul to fly free

At first I get triggered and act disgruntled

Feeling self righteous, the opposite of humble

Am I cursed to live a life of struggle?

I am if I cant see the light beyond the tunnel

Earth is a school for souls to be refined

I had to learn how to read between the lines

Pain and suffering are not for my demise

If I drop into the body and get out of my mind

What am I intended to glean from these trials?

If I don’t ask the question I’ll remain in denial

Of the blessings I’ve attained while navigating vile

Situations that create emancipation all the while.